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Well, while you guys were sleeping in today, I was on dawn patrol in Tampa Bay on a mission to dial in some new tricks. Mission accomplished!
First stop was at North Skyway, where the wind was honking at 10-12 mph. Also, a monster tide sucked out all but two inches of water in my favorite spot, and those two inches were choked with seagrass. No worries! My trusty Cabal skimboard helped me tear sh*t up and turn the whole place into a slider park. There's nothing like hauling ass in an inch of water, unhooked, trying to avoid a guy who is digging for clams. It's even better when you eat sh*t and then stand up with about 20 pounds of mud and seaweed clinging to your bar, your hook, your face--I call that trick the "Swamp Thing." Mad skillz!
Then, I was driving home when I saw kites up at South Skyway. WTF? Well, I decided to pull over and check it out. Just a few miles made a big difference as I was able to jump back on the 16m, but fully powered this time. I cruised into some 6 inch deep water that was butter and started to throw down, putting some fear into some people who were shelling. That's when I realized that the bottom was covered with razor sharp beds of barnacles, shells, oysters, whatever, just about the same time the kite started to power up in a gust and I started to run out of water. That's when I created another new trick called the "Dakota College Fund" or "DCF."
To do a Dakota College Fund, unhook, put the kite high, and butterslide the board through 1 inch of water that covers 3/4 inches of razor sharp exoskelton, all during a monster gust. When you hear the bottom of your board literally getting sliced up, you've got the DCF dialed in.
I wasn't done yet. Things happen in threez and mad skillz are no exception. After thugging out the DCF, I decided to wedge the kiteboard into an exposed sandbar just upwind of a particulaly gnarly cesspool of razorshell and dead sealife. After I dragged through on my knees, I jumped on the razorshell to get the full effect. I am still not sure what to call this new move. I am torn between calling it a Cheeze Grater or a Filet of Flesh. Any suggestions, east side beyatches?
West siiiiiiide!
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