I am losing patience with most of the major kite brands, whose reps are always wasting my time by calling to offer full-on sponsorships. Don't they know that I am a soul kiter, unwilling to get entanged in the dreary world of free gear and trips around the planet to kite?

Besides, I'll never abandon my original sponsors: Krispy Kreme, Men's Bikini Outlet, Preparation H, and...EXTREME KITES!

Well,

I pretty much stink compared to the 'Bone. However, I did secure a sponsorship from Wendy's (specifically combo #7) about 3 years ago.
Eric, do you really get weekly calls? That's amazing, indeed.
Your bagz are gonna go coast to coast soon, as well

Well, admittedly, I am starting to wonder if the sponsorship I received from Extreme Kites is legitimate.

When Daryl told me last year that I was the top Extreme Kites team rider, he gave me a man-thong that has "Extreme Kites" written on the butt string. Daryl stressed that I am required to wear the thong during every session, in order to properly represent the shop. I complied with that requirement without fail, even throughout the cold, winter season.

Now that I take a close look in the mirror, however, I can't even read "Extreme Kites" when I wear this thong. Was this "sponsorship" just another practical joke engineered by Extreme Kites at my expense?